Pain ...

I haven't seen my heart as sad and miserable as I see it these days ..
I was Flooding from good , fun, vitality and joy
Suddenly it change ..
Happy to sadness
Vital to depression ..
Fun to excursion
Disorientation in another world...
After I was the closest person to my heart
How dose my spiritual twin invaded by grief


...


Questions keep hitting me ..
I collapsed from my tears
suffocating mixing it with bleeding red ..
Paste the pain , bitterness and blood ..
Here start my tragedy I'll tell you it not by those words but with those
''Punches'

.....


For the first time in my life My pen fail to express my feelings
and I was the one who words flow from her like water flow from high mountains
My words use to touch the felling of every lover missing his love
My words flow to touch the feeling for every lover who suffer the pain of separation or the distort the meeting
I'm the one who wrote about all kinds of different feelings of love and longing

.....

Even when I'm in the top of my anger and sadness

I always ask my reader to not measured my writing to a personal experience
I'm usually write about Love , passion and the longing
and prestige it make
I never right about betrayal or the pain and the torment it caused why ?
I don't know how to write about what I don't feel
It never occurred to my mind that one day I'll write about it and my tears Scatter the words in my not book

......

I never imagine that that I'll going to write about it someday while my heart almost stop from the pain , Blackness and Darkness surrounds my life
and here I am struggling with my desire to write about my sadness
about my deep wound that does not heal with words , promises and apologies
It's the most difficult feeling in the world to write about your hurt pried
It difficult to look at other eyes and see how much they cheated on you
My mind and heart filled with questions but no answer

.......

why do we feel pain ?
why do we betray ?
why do we hurt who we love ?
why do we give people we love a feeling of Shafted and contested
I couldn't find a satisfactory answer for my painful Question

......

6 years ago
3 year ago
and now ...
whenever I think it well stop
it keep coming back
pain after pain
it so difficult to forgive this crazy feeling inside me
I'm mix of pain , love , hurt and forgiveness
why I forgive ?
I don't know why
but ..! I'm still in pain
....

I don't want any comment or answer or explain ..
I'm writing what inside me
just another space for my half empty mind

See you in another bubble...

....

P.S: if you don't get it you can read the same in Arabic in my original blog ''Hwa '' see ya